Sometimes it takes a piece of rather uninspired writing to get your thoughts together. I have seen this to be one of my best cases when it comes to writing down my thoughts.
When Shree Amit Shah announced the anti-romeo squads as part of his election promise, all hell broke loose. The lines were again drawn. Some were vehemently supporting, others of course towing the lines of love asking impassioned questions such as: Have you lived in UP? Do you know how bad things are there?
Unfortunately. I have lived in UP. And I actually know how bad things are there.
I read a blogpost (which IMO should have been written by someone a lot earlier) how living in UP the woman experienced harassment on road, was inappropriately touched by strangers, etc. By etc I do not mean to offend the writer (or blogger- I don’t know her) but only canvassing how generally the streets of India are for women.
Yes, India. I found it rather offensive that she considered this to be a very UP centric phenomenon. Which I can guarantee given my extensive travelling, that it’s not.
Here’s my story.
I have been followed by boys, men and even strange old uncles on streets of many places. A rather horrible incident once even saw me and my sister involved in an accident so much so that my sister, who fell rather hard on the ground, in no time started spitting blood. My hands shook while typing that.
Moving on, she got a jaw fracture and I got a strange compulsive disorder that now prevents me from crossing any road on my own. I have often held hands of strange women to reach to the other side.
So needless to say. I have been touched inappropriately. I have been followed. I have been passed lewd remarks. I have been shown things one normally likes to witness consensually.
And I am against the idea of “Anti-romeo squads”.
I also have the misfortune of experiencing another strange incident. My husband (then boyfriend) and I decided to plan a weekend getaway to Nainital. Happy in love and lost in each other’s eyes on the railway station, we did not pay heed to the rather bulky policeman approaching us.
He pulled my husband’s collar. And asked him super weird questions, in that characteristically menacing tone. But me being me. I decided enough is enough. I walked to him and screamed. I told him that man you saw who dropped me here is my father and he knows we are traveling together. “One more minute of hanging around with us and I will dial 100 and also my father’s mobile number. I am sure he will arrive faster to teach you a lesson.”
I kind of have that effect on policemen. Yes I have multiple encounters of these uniformed criminals- unfortunately.
I also know acquaintances, family friends whose daughters have been clicked in parks or even on the streets by random ‘policemen’ and they have found themselves to be quite the talk of town. Strange as it may sound I have heard more of these stories than any policeman ever saving a girl from molestation or eve teasing.
Who remember the movie Masaan? Why did it shake so many of us?
There is an existing helpline in the state which was formed by previous government then headed by Akhilesh Yadav. The helpline I have myself witnessed works very well given the conditions it is exposed to. If the new government had strengthened that and formulated a plan to execute it even better we would not have seen this.
But then, how would the Rams and (Vanar) senas of the world win future elections? No?
Let’s hear it from the Shakespeares themselves (P.S I dare someone call them fringe elements. We cannot create more potential CM candidates in this country. Please)
“Have problem with girls roaming with boyfriends. Will work as #AntiRomeoSquad to keep check”:Hindu Yuva Vahini members tell @TanushreePande pic.twitter.com/7agyyL9vya
— News18 (@CNNnews18) March 23, 2017
Richa, I have started to feel rather tired of speaking against the mindless acts of this Vanar Sena. It has been 3 years and we, the people of India, have voted them to power in many states since then too.
May be this is our society and this is what we deserve. May be, us liberals, have been in a bubble of a more Utopian India. May be, just may be, we are the fringe!
You know Tocha, I can’t help but agree with Prateek here. I really feel liberals have become the fringe, not just in India, but world over. We are seeing a rise in RW politics and politicians – I think there is something we are not seeing. Some fear that these RW elements are tapping into. Maybe it’s fear of the supremacists (here, Hindu majority, in US, white supremacists) that is playing out on the international stage. I can only hope sanity will prevail sooner rather than later, and we don’t witness another mass-scale progrom played out on the international stage.
In one way, I know what Prateek and MG are saying rings sadly true. But I can’t see myself bowing down or even turning over to the dark side and allowing such acts to continue. It is insane that in 2017, you have goons given authority to moral police now with police and the ministers supporting them. The incidents are now anything – any boy and girl walking around – and on top of it, you have celebrities supporting it saying the minister is doing some good so leave everything else.
Ironically, most of these celeb authors and film stars themselves had ‘normal’ love stories… how can they be so narrow minded not to realize they would have been victimized themselves had they been walking on these roads as college students
I agree with each word that you wrote here, Rohan.
You have it wrong. There are clear instructions to Anti romeo squads NOT to harass couples and focus on Eve teasers.
I wonder why you’re hiding behind a pseudonym, ‘Ben’?
Thanks for writing this and taking a stand against these uniformed thugs.It felt so nice reading it.I welcome action against eve teasers,but this moral policing is way too much for anyone to tolerate.Surprisingly some women assume we are arguing on the side of eve teasers,when we oppose such moral policing.Once again thanks for writing this article.
Richa, when the new CM came to power, I used FB to ask if the so-called feminists who are great supporters of the BJP will take a stand against him. All went very silent, or perhaps I’ve been blocked already. I guess it’s high time we rewrote what being a ‘feminist’ means!
Dear Philosopher – As a mother to two grown up girls, I’ve watched as strangers on the street stared shamelessly at ‘you know what’ even while they were little and not ‘stareworthy’, wearing extremely decent clothes and walking on the street with their MOTHER and FATHER sometimes. I’ve seen these lewd stares in posh hotels, clubs and even private parties in cities as cosmopolitan as MUMBAI.
I’ve had my share of unwanted glances, remarks and even bumps and gropes but have learnt that this is just one of the aspects of being female.
In my experience NOTHING can help this genetic defect in all males, not even the anti-Romeo squads.
And you don’t have to be a feminist to be offended by intrusive,abusive and offensive behaviour. Essentially we are all human beings who deserve respect from EVERYONE!
If the anti Romeo Squad has been able to send the street Romeos back in there homes and instilled a sense of confidence in girls to go out to school, college, work, meet friends, take a walk in the park then I think it’s a great move. And trust me this is what has happened in most of the places.
Judiciary also fails sometimes and punishes the non guilty, does that mean we should shut down all courts?