Dear Mom,
It has been a long, long time. Only in the last few years have I had the courage to put my scribbled diary pages online. To share things about you. Make people laugh and cry with your memories.
It is something that had been pending for a while. A part of the wound that was left aside. Not even wanting to heal.
If you would have been here I would have probably taken you out. Shopping maybe? Or a nice movie. We know you would have loved that. And gotten you that silk saree you would have been eyeing for months. But not buying out of sheer guilt of having to spend so much.
Some of these online people now know you. They ping me. Question me about you. Marvel at the things you taught us so early. Courage of sharing you with them pays off in these little moments.
Something surprising happened. Last night, Rumi mausi shared one of your song recordings. Honestly, one second into it and I had broken down. It seemed like not a day had passed. You were there. Right around me. Humming a song and trying your new saree. Being the narcissist that you were when it came to things, probably proudly proclaiming how you are totally going to rock the next party.
Tomorrow will be just another day. Another twenty four hours of fighting things and life. Will miss you every now and then but dismiss it to carry on with time.
Every mothers day, your birthday and unfortunately that day in September as well, I devote all my time to you. Unknowingly in some cases. I allow myself to be that thirteen year old again. I allow myself to be that five year old as well. Let the vagaries of those times hit me.
Of course in such times living with me becomes tough. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Talk on and on about you and me. Thankfully people around now just know. They let me be.
How tough that was. To let myself be. With you not around I never quite spoke my mind. With age and people, things have changed. I speak a lot more about you now.
Last few words might never deserve a re-read. If they do they will be backspaced.
But I do wish to tell you one thing, you are missed. Like others say about their mothers I will also say. You deserve a thought and mention all the three sixty five days, but woman some days you simply cannot be dismissed. You come back in those memories I avoid. In those moments I keep for idle times.
Thank you for having me as your child. I know someone up there thought I did a couple of things right to deserve so.
Until next life and next time.
Love
Richu.
Picture perfect 🙂
Connecting it with #MondayMusings
I had teary eyes. This is straight from the heart. I know she is smiling ear to ear while reading this.
Yup smiling and perhaps also wondering when did I grow up so soon 🙂
This was hard to read all the way through. So emotional. Kudos to you to go all the way to write such a warm piece and share it.
She’s smiling on you 🙂
Thanks Prateek, I hope my writing inspires many to follow suit. Blog their way out of pent up emotions..
I am in actual tears. So beautiful 🙂
Aww.. wasn’t my intention you know 🙂
No tears !
Smile because she always want you with a smiling face.
Straight from the heart :**.
That silk saree or the walk for a movie, that all,emotions which you had all, were poured here !
Much love ????????
You already make your mamaa proud by being an example to many woman.
P.S – The PIC ; she looks more beautiful than you :*
Nothing makes me more happy than to see someone point out how she is more pretty than me 🙂
So beautiful Richa! No words or deeds can overpower the loss of one so dear. Indeed angels in heaven and mothers on earth! Love and hugs darling.
Yes cannot help but agree. Angels on earth are mothers (and fathers I would say) *hugs*
I have been there, its not easy to talk about your parent as there are so many intimate memories. As you rightly mentioned time surely helps. This is a very candid and heartfelt and how I wish we get an opportunity to communicate more with our near and dear ones and spend more time with them rather than at work.
How I wish same Karan.. but knowing myself I wouldn’t utilise that time expressing. pretty weird on that account 😀
If reading your post about your 3 mausis last night made me smile, this one left my eyes moist. Hugs Richa ????
Oh you read that as well 🙂 Super glad both struck a chord with you Anamika 🙂
Richa, it’s such a heartwarming and touching letter to your Mom. You are a brave and strong girl, taking care of your siblings. Your Maa must be smiling from her heavenly abode and sprinkle your life with blessings.
Thanks a lot Vishal 🙂
Just wanted to let you know that
I love you
And Mummy must have missed you more reading this
Love
P
That is such a sweet thing to say Pooja… Love back to you 🙂
Hugs, Richa. I’m looking forward to meeting her firebrand daughter in the flesh soon. She’ll be proud of you.
Me too Corinne!
I will be honest. My eyes welled up reading this one. I have never read a post here that was as heartfelt as this one and all I can give you is a warm big bear hug and share that you are just like how your Mum would have wanted. She will be proud of you.
Aww thanks Parul <3 <3
This post left me teary eyed, Richa. Hugs!
*hugs* 🙂
I don’t know what to say…honest from the heart but maybe posts about moms and dads are always this raw..hugs
True. They evoke such elements out of us..
Straight from the heart!
Thanks Binod 🙂
This made me teary eyed, Richa! Lots of love and hugs!
*hugs*
Oh wow, I’m not the one to cry easily but a tear did roll down my eye.
Your mom is indeed blessed to have a daughter like you.
Aww thanks Soumya 🙂
Beautiful and touching post. 🙂
Thanks Meera 🙂