I am one of those elusive kids who find time to speak to their parents while going from one place to another in a cab. Or when they have some work to get done by them.
And each time the conversations last forever and the next few minutes post the phone call, immense guilt pangs hit heart over inadequacies of communication in many other days.
Today was one such day.
I randomly picked up my phone and dialed his number. The fact that there was a fifteen minutes old message in my phone which read ‘very busy it seems‘ had some effect, one cannot tell. But the thirty minute impending cab ride was surely a motivator, we can say.
And one hour later we had exchanged all our views from Smriti Irani to JNU to obviously Jat protests. At the end of it he simply said, ‘life kaisi hai par’, and we both laughed. Because this is how many of our conversations pan out.
Religion, country, politics (lots of it!), cricket and at times even an odd memory here and there. Dad has been more of a friend than parent always. A friend who was deeply interested in who I was dating at all times 😀
But yes, a companion.
I recently came across an article on my Facebook timeline :Â Why do we teach girls that it’s cute to be scared?
Instantly I thought of him. He would have thrown his hands up in the air and sighed.
Bringing up two daughters in a 90s world was a task.Â
Cute and scared. Both of these were off the table in our house.
I often come across blogs, websites journals and videos on good parenting. And it is very heartwarming to see that many express the need for parents to let go. Allow children to explore their own ideas and ways.
My parents were probably the ones who ghost wrote these lectures back in 90s.
We had no curfews. We had no ideologies to stick to. We didn’t even have religion as a yard stick to teach good ways.
We simply had one brief to live by. If it seems right to you, go ahead.
That was a lot to take in one childhood. And hence we had to back it up. By being aware, reading, knowing whatever there was to know to grow. Evolve. Understand.
And of course we had them at dinner table throwing funny questions at us.
“Do you think this government is doing enough for schools?”
There was no escaping with silence. Our family didn’t have canes to discipline us, they had those steely gazes.
Even today if we meet once a year and there is a discussion (which is always so!) around politics and one of us doesn’t know the correct facts (which is necessarily my sister), there is a ‘youth of this country will drown us’ discussion.
This post is for the man who is stored in my phone as ‘daddy cool’. May the many times over I get him to father me in coming lives. Cause I don’t want it any other way 🙂
Such a lovely post and I have the same relationship with my father. From Facebook to women’s issue – we talk about everything. 🙂 I know you read my post to my father on his 60th birthday – and you said on my blog, they are same – plus/minus those books 🙂
Yes I remember 🙂 My father is no fond of books which is so surprising given I live on them 😀
Love you Uncle and Richa
From
A Daddy’s Girl
Will convey to him 🙂
I was always extremely close to both of my parents. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them. Enjoy your parents and appreciate them while you have them. Life is too short and time moves to swiftly.
Yes Kathy life is too short and one needs to express more and more in it 🙂
Loved reading these memoriesof your dad. They are so much similar to mine. Scared is cute!! Whoever thought of that. Your dad indeed is daddy cool 🙂
But scared is cute for many no? Girls themselves often wish to believe that
This post reminds me of a short chat we had one day in one of the comment section of either your or my blog regarding our dads..I think it was in 2014 or 2013, I don’t remember the year exactly but I do remember how we both agreed that our dads made us who we are and cute and scared certainly weren’t a part of that…Loved the post but I don’t need to tell you that, do I?
Yes I do remember this conversation 🙂 Dads today have perhaps started being more brave as parents to daughters than ever 🙂
Wonderful stuff, Richa. And to think he raised two girls without your Mom through the most difficult years is truly a testament of a fantastic Dad.
I hope he read this. 🙂
I hope so too! But even if he does he might not say anything to me 😛
Fabulous. Stay Blessed Richard always!!
Nisha I know you are using an iphone 😛
It’s our upbringing that make us what we are today and you had an enriching one even in 90s when thinking global was so rare
Thanks Kadambari, true I am blessed to have the kind of parents I had in this life 🙂
Yahh.. Dad’s love wow.. your memories defines the bond between dad and his princess..!!Amazing isn’t it!!
Thank you so much Ankita 🙂
Somebody who is cool enough to digest dating bits, is a cool father. Lucky you! 🙂
haha only show that he has digested 😛
That’s a lovely post :). I really like the point about parents letting their children let go. It’s like many a time parents hold on ensuring that their children do this or do that.
While that is important to an extent, it’s also always necessary to ensure that they learn from their surroundings, peers etc. as well and can discuss freely with parents on what they learnt or unlearnt. Being overbearing maybe ok for sometime but it’s also important to be a friend and understand your children’s thoughts and emotions.
Placing faith in your own upbringing is prime.