There is a common thread that has been going circles in my head for a while now.
Finding yourself in adversity. And today I discovered a new facet of it.
Finding yourself despite adversity.
No. It doesn’t mean the same. Not all noise is music. In same way not all adversity is constructive or motivating.
As Indians we are taught more often than needed that all forms of opposition or difficulties is God’s way of paving way. And this makes us embrace difficult situations more than one needs in any given time. Yes it helps but at what cost? Maybe there is a shorter way. An easier path. They say tortoise won, but that is because rabbit slept. What if he hadn’t? What if he had been smarter. Why leave success to chances then?
Coming back to subject.
Finding yourself despite adversity.
I was reading a book based on Swami Vivekananda’s life. And then all through this last week it was juxtaposed by (internet provided) biographies of many authors, leaders, musicians, etc. And there seemed to be a common thread through all of them.
They faltered. They failed due to their own fallacies. And they are not known for them.
Yes. This kind of created a eureka moment for me. And turned me to remember one of my oft repeated lines.
Marriage is not an ideal decision.
No do not get me wrong here. It is a metaphor. To elaborate further on this is my next writing.
Most of us build our lives on threads. Snippets of conversations with friends, families, gurus etc. Not to forget the elusive inner voice. And these threads further elongate themselves to suffocate us. Literally.
Breaking free from these is just as important in life as finding the right path is. No, not easy, not ideal but ‘right’.
Why did I particularly choose marriage to represent this ideology?
Because marriage is a decision. That we make. And secondly it represents our life’s entire thought process in one step.
If you seriously need to understand more about a person look for his partner. Look for the circumstances in which his marriage took place. You might get seventy percent things right about him just by that.
Hence I say, do not treat marriage as an ideal decision. Do not let people understand you so easily by that one simple act. Be more than your ideals in a moment.
Adjust, twist, look for the right things not ideal things. All the time.
Now clear your head of the marriage thing and read the entire last piece in context of road to success.
Vivekananda, supreme philosopher and promoter of Hindu thought and spirituality spent many years brooding his poverty and lack of health. His ideas may have spread far and wide but back home he was dependent on a Rajasthani patron to see his family through many crunches. A yogi, an ascetic and yet heartbroken at his failures.
But do we know him for this?
Alice Walker. A writer. A Pulitzer prize winner. A feminist. A strong advocate of racial equality. Disowned by her own daughter publicly. Denounced as a failed mother figure.
But again, how many of us ever even spend five minutes of our times over this?
Bill Clinton. His success as POTUS has been far and wide. His ideas on politics and world domination status of USA is what we know as of today. Yet a Monica Lewinsky happened. And despite all the bad press he received, people still respect him for he was- a great leader.
Most of us think that fighting odds or adversity can help us grow. Maybe yes. But not always. Sometime fighting odds should not be your centre stage.
Like I said earlier as well. Choose your battles. Not all the battles are worth the medals they provide.
Do not take all the wrong turns of life for your ideals!
Be happy. Be successful. And more than idealistic, be You!
Tonight, tell us if there is one battle you are presently in or was which taught you nothing in return then share it with us! Let us declassify these so called glorifies battles once and for all!
Also connecting it with Write Tribe’s #MondayMusings
Uff, what deep thoughts…loved your way of enlightening!
Glad you liked it Alok 🙂
“Be you” that’s where people fall short 🙂
nicely done
Sarabjeet
A lot short 🙂
Ahh…where do you get such deep thoughts woman… To answer your question, I don’t know…At times, when my mood is right, I feel adversity did actually give me something in return..But otherwise there are times when I feel it’s all nonsense..Though I don’t know why I can’t think of anything at the moment! You make me wonder, sigh!
Well I have been wondering over this for a while now Naba… and answers I get are at times disconcerting..
So, I get what you are saying but I am also some one who would find what every tough battle taught. I had many battles to fight and everything bit by bit made me who I am today. At least that I would like to assume so 🙂
I am not saying battles do not make us. It made me as well. But I meant not all battles make you and it is critical to choose the battles we need in our lives..
I totally agree that we need to choose our battles… and that not everything needs to be a battle! Thanks for this thought-provoking post.
My purpose is achieved if it made you ponder over what I wrote here 🙂
These are some deep thoughts. Yes, it’s definitely wise to choose your battles, but then again, sometimes they choose us!
It is isn’t that they choose us it is how much importance we begin to give them. They can coexist with all the rest of the things as such with us. No?
Most often that not, I find there is something to learn from adversity, sometimes about ourselves, sometimes others or sometimes about the strange ways of life. I don’t know if that is something I’ve been looking for just to come to terms with the whole thing. 🙂
But I’m sure there are those times when nothing makes sense and nothing comes out of certain situations.
Girl, you made us do some thinking. Have a nice week, Richa.
Btw, you make me want to read about Vivekananda. 🙂
Yes and this nothing is often more time consuming. Why not let such situations flow, without any opposition/effort on our part. We elevate their position only by our deep concern over them..
There are too points I’d take away from your post, Richa. To choose one’s battles wisely. And also to remember that many of the ‘greats’ had a hidden or weak side to them. It’s our problem that we think they’re infallible.
Agree Corinne. Because we are to emulate them then we need to see their entire life as a circle and be inspired by such a balance in our own trying times..
I loved the way you put across your thoughts…nice post!
Glad you liked it 🙂
Totally agree.
Didn’t know about Swami Vivekananda’s penury. That proves your point that we know him for his other achievements 🙂
Exactly Anita… and such is life- we need to identify what we wish to be known for….
A well-argued post Richa. Adversity cannot be an excuse to success. It comes from hard work and a desire to achieve. And yet, adversity has been so pervasive in the lives of those whom we chose as our leaders, that it kind of became inspirational. Adversity is a discourse others use to define the success of successful people. It is not something those who suffered would have dwelt upon. One more thing, there is something with your settings. I cannot read the comments on the post in full as the profile images are overlapping.
Oh really Sunaina? Thanks for letting me know this.. will check settings.
I agree leaders have often been emulated for their hardships. But they are particularly those that contributed to their success stories. Many hardships are not pertaining to anything constructive and yet we dwell on them far too long unknowingly..
Unfortunately, I cannot read your comment too….:(
Wow..!! That indeed is a very thought provoking post..!!
It always good to fight whatever comes our way, but I guess, not all of them requires us to wear and armor and come into the field..
Cheers
Yes Geet not everything needs the battle armour 😀
A very interesting and fresh perspective:)
Glad you liked it 🙂
That is an interesting perspective.
I feel that our adversities are capable of teaching us things, if we are willing to learn. It depends on one’s outlook. But more often than not, we focus on the pain, and not the lessons.
Having said that, I completely agree with what you said regarding being ourselves. Its should be simple, but only very few are able to do it, no?
Brilliant Shanaya! We focus too much on the pain and not the lessons. In fact we are more confused as to what is the pain and what is lesson in the mix..
Now that’s quite an enlightening post :). Truly agree with the point that we need to choose the battles as all are not worth it.
But yeah, battles do teach us a thing or two about life which can help us improve and move on :).